A New Pie in the Sky

Breaking News! There's a new pie in town...Torrellis Pizza. It debuts at #2 knocking Bertolos to the second five and knocking Morettis, Titos and Barleys each down one notch. It's very, very good pizza. Real New York City pizza, even though the owners are from Pennsylvania.  Still, a notch below Tony's on Haywood, but not too far behind. The crust is thin and perfect. The sauce is excellent.  If you have a very large appetite and a very large truck, try their 28" pizza. I've never seen a pizza box so large. Special note: I had heard they had a fantastic hamburger. They do. It is one of the best in town. Located near BJU on Wade Hampton, it's not much to look at from outside, but it's clean and simple inside. The waitresses and owners are very hospitable. Good for Torrellis, we need more good pizza choices. It will drive out those imposters preying on the ignorant. TEM

The Eating Man for President

I've decided to run for President. As your President, one of my first Presidential orders will be to institute an official national food. Just like we have an official national anthem and an official national flag, I propose we have an official national food...Chex Trail Mix. It's a diversified food that is fair and balanced. It is sweet and salty and crunchy. It is filling and fulfilling. It represents a wide array of food groups. There are representatives from the fruit group, the pretzel group, the cracker group and the nut group. Fruits and nuts...that's what made this country great. Let me be perfectly clear, the official national food will not be Chex Mix alone. No, it must be Chex Trail Mix. The secret ingredient that makes it the perfect official national food are M & M's. THE SINGLE GREATEST candy in history. With M & M's,  all things are ok and our national security can remain strong

Tell your friends and family to vote "The Eating Man for President" (by the way, I'm running VERY independently since I am a Liberative Republicrat). I have no budget and I plan on not spending any money on this campaign. I ask that my loyal followers, all seven(7), lead the grass roots effort

Now, I know I can't make it all the way to The White House on just this one official national food platform. So, here are some other ideas I'd bring to the table:

Let's get back to our heritage:

* Focus the federal government on one thing and one thing only - defense/national security. That is what our founding fathers had in mind

Make the tax system fair for all:

* Eliminate all income, property, investment, business and other taxes. The ONLY tax we would all pay is a consumption tax. 5% Local, 10% State, 15% Federal... 30% total. If you can't afford the tax, don't buy it

* There will be no more tax returns to file and there will be no more IRS

* Give to charities because it's the right thing to do, not because you get a tax deduction

Here's the fix for Social Security:

* Keep Social Security but fix it. Make eligibilty one age and one percentage for payback...age 67 at 100%. No more choices of 62/66/70 for 80%/100%/120%. Same age for Medicare benefits, raise it from age 65 to 67

* Raise the FICA contribution from 7.65% to 7.95% for both employee and employer

* Remove the cap on earnings. Pay into it based on what you earn and raise the payback accordingly on a sliding scale

Elected Officials:

* Elect people who will be servants of the people. Require on-going polling of their constituents to make sure the elected official is voting as their people wish. NOT as they wish

* All elected officials will serve ONE six year term with NO relection option. Enough with politicians spending most of their elected time campaigning to get reelected, instead of doing the job they were elected to do

Immigration:

* Illegal aliens have 90 days to become legal immigrants through a short but complete process. After that, they will be permanently deported

* Past that 90 day deadline, no social services will be available to them (healthcare, education, legal representation, entitlements, etc)

* Employers found employing illegal allens after 90 days will be fined one million dollars and ten years in prison per illegal employee (that should stop the problem by itself)

* All U.S. citizens will carrry proof of citizenship

* An electronic fence will be installed across the U.S. Northern and Southern borders

Unemployment:

* Incentives for all U.S. businesses and business owners

* Special incentives for manufacturing in U.S. Strong disincentives for US companies manufacturing outside U.S.

* Level import/export playing field

* Cap unemployment benefits at 39 weeks

Other:

* Create a national lottery

* Countries must repay (cash and/or trade) the U.S. for assisting in their national security. No more free policing of the world

* Legalize, regulate and tax certain vices for adults over 21. Why should gambling casinos, horse racing, and jai alai only be beneficial to certain states and/or indian tribes?

These are but a few of my initial platforms as I begin my run for President. I will continue to develop more ideas and you can be sure that while I ponder these in deep thought, I will be munching on my Chex Trail Mix. Vote early and vote often. TEM

Up, Up and Aweigh

Just a found a new gem in Greenville thanks to my friend Austin. The next time you find yourself near the downtown airport and you are hungry (that would be 24/7 for me), take off to Runway Cafe. At the end of Airport Road Extension is the old downtown flight school now turned restaurant. What a great place. You sit inside or outside right on the runway and watch the planes take off and land. It makes for great theater. I'm told that if you drive up in your plane you get a 20% discount. Sure wish I had a plane. The food was excellent. I had their Yeager burger - angus beef or a spicy black bean patty with ham, homemade pimento cheese, lettuce, tomato. I, of course, had the beef. Delicious! They have Kittyhawk pesto chicken salad, Rickenbacker swiss/steak sauce/fried onion burger, Earhart fried tilapia, Orville Wright chicken wrap, Lindberg quesadilla...you get the picture. Soups, salads, burgers, sandwiches, wraps. Lunch and dinner. Beer and Wine. I was full and ran out of time, but next time, I'm having their fried oreos for dessert. $2.99 for 5. Burgers, wraps and sandwiches are $7 - $10. Runway Cafe is a great little place to land. TEM

My Kinda House

The year was 1955. Two major world changing phenomena occured. The world was graced with the birth of The Eating Man and Waffle House opened their doors. Both similar in so many ways. Since then WH has served 1,173,838,328 hashbrown orders, 1,527,602,959 eggs and 1,108,574,633 orders of grits. The similarity? I've eaten most of that. Most impressive is that they serve 368 strips of bacon every minute 24/7/365. Now you see why I'm so busy. WH never closes. They serve every minute of every day. The Eating Man never closes. I eat every minute of every day. WH has many signature items ala waffles and hashbrowns and their great coffee. It is good. Why? I am going to guess volumn. Everything is always fresh because of the volumn. Another similarity with TEM. I Like volumn and consume as such. Many of you don't know I'm a germaphobe. Yes, I like cleanliness. At WH that has to be put aside for the sake of deliciousness. The WH way is bare hands...for everything. If you can't get over that, try another place. It is what it is. A couple of inside tips. Google Waffle House Coupons and get some freebees. I rarely don't have a coupon when I dine there. Usually a free waffle or free hashbrown or free coffee. Also check out their dollar menu. I get the egg and cheese biscuit. It's $1. I have them make my egg over medium and melt the cheese. Also, I have them "well" grill my biscuit both sides with butter using the paddles. It's a complete breakfast for $1. Add to that my free coffee (usually) and my day starts off right...for $1. Now, I of course leave a nice tip if my waitress has a good attitude. That's an interesting thing at WH. Those waitreses are real. Very real. They can be sweet. They can be funny. They can bite your head off. Somehow, in their training they are told to just "be yourself". And, they are. It makes for great theatre. As does the cooking. It's my favorite part of WH. Sitting at the counter on a stool watching the magic happen. It's really unbelieveable. No written orders, just a lot of yelling in a special language... a code. And many orders at the same time by multiple waitresses with wide ranging attitudes. "Pull one, Mark. Over E. Scattered, smothered, chunked, capped, covered".  Somehow the cooks keep it all straight. The requirement must be that they be MIT grads. I'm not smart enaough to be a WH cook. I just be a UT grad. TEM

Who'd a thunk?

When I think of Greenville Tech, I think of learning a trade like plumber or electrician or auto mechanic or nurse. I think of a technical college that provides a wealth of talent for the manufacturing facilities we so covet in our area. This past week, I was enlightened to a new dimension of Greenville Tech. First, I knew there were multiple campuses, but I was not aware of the fairly new Northwest campus. It is in the Northwest area of the county, in the Berea area. It is in an area not frequented in my world. Quite frankly and sadly, I felt lost getting there. It's just not a familiar area for me. Somewhere out White Horse Rd. take a left through a beautiful entranceway, drive down a long and spectacular tree lined drive and come upon a magnificent campus. Wow. I had no idea. In the midst of an apparently very low economic part of town is this resort like campus. On this campus houses a major I have never associated with Greenville Tech. Food. There are approx 400 culinary students learning to be world class chefs in a state of the art facility. Who'd a thunk? On this occasion, I was invited to participate in one of the many "meals" prepared by the students. Apparently, every third week or so, the college puts on an eating event to allow the students to showcase their talents. It is not open to the public, but it is open to anyone invited. In my case, someone who knew someone who knew someone asked me. This day it was a general buffet lunch. Sometimes it is a themed lunch or dinner. Upcoming events include an Italian night, German night, etc. The cost for this lunch was $8, all inclusive. It included tax, dessert and drink. No tipping allowed. Just the way I like it. I walked in and the first thing that struck me was the unbelieveable ice sculpture. Turns out, ice sculpting is part of the curriculum. The many students in attendance were dressed in full white chef outfits along with chef hats. Their jackets were custome embroidered with their names. Impressive. The tables were dressed with linens, silver and glass. It was first class event. There was food everywhere. It reminded me of a spectacular Sunday brunch at a five star resort. I, of course, tried everything. Some things multiple times. Of those items I tried at least twice were...carved pork loin with mango and peach chutney, curried chicken with honey coconut glaze and lemon rice, poached egg with prosciutto on herb focaccia with basil mustard hollandaise, vegetables with goat cheese and lemon flavored turkey breast, spinach pear frisee sald with curried hazelnuts and there was much, much more. The desserts I enjoyed many times over included scotch scones with clotted cream, fresh fruit filled crepes and fresh baked danishes and muffins drizzled with flavored butter. Yes, I was a very bad Eating Man this day and I'm sure my boyish Eating Man figure will be penalized severely. But what the heck, I'm ready for the next one. TEM

Pizza. Setting the Story Straight

Pizza. Most people don't know good from bad. It's sad but true. So many folk around these parts just don't know. It's not their fault. It just is what it is. First, let's dismiss the chains. All of them but one. The new Dominos thin crust is palpable in a pinch. A good deal at $8 for a large cheese. The new recipe is actually ok, but just ok. It's a desperation eat at best. The rest aren't worth any amount of money. Now with that said, I would receommend any of the chains above any frozen pizza. I place frozen pizza on par with dog food. Now on to real pizza, at least the best we have in these parts  (Greenville, SC). By pizza, I mean New York style pizza. Thin crust. The kind you fold over to eat. None of this Chicago thick pizza. All crust and no taste. It's like eating bread with a little sauce. Not for me. With that said, the goal is to find real  NYC pizza. Like Rays or any other thousands in the big city. Unfortunately, we can only get close. Just close. My top five are  5) Bertolos   4) Barleys    3) Titos   2) Morrettis   1) Tony's (the one on Haywood rd next to TJ Maxx...the other Tonys around town are not affiliated and are not in my top 10). At Tony's, get the 20" cheese for $14. You'll need an SUV for transport. Cheese pizza is the bellweather. Use cheese pizza to compare. It's the purest form of pizza and doesn't have all the toppings that mask the core taste. There are other pizzas around that are ok, but a notch behind my top 5. In my second five would be Happy Pie, Acropolis, The Olive Tree, Mellow Mushroom and Illeanos. There are those who like brick oven pizza. I don't. For those who do, I think Trio has an ok brick oven pizza and as does Whole Foods. My suggestion...save up and take a trip to NYC. TEM