The Eating Man for President

I've decided to run for President. As your President, one of my first Presidential orders will be to institute an official national food. Just like we have an official national anthem and an official national flag, I propose we have an official national food...Chex Trail Mix. It's a diversified food that is fair and balanced. It is sweet and salty and crunchy. It is filling and fulfilling. It represents a wide array of food groups. There are representatives from the fruit group, the pretzel group, the cracker group and the nut group. Fruits and nuts...that's what made this country great. Let me be perfectly clear, the official national food will not be Chex Mix alone. No, it must be Chex Trail Mix. The secret ingredient that makes it the perfect official national food are M & M's. THE SINGLE GREATEST candy in history. With M & M's,  all things are ok and our national security can remain strong

Tell your friends and family to vote "The Eating Man for President" (by the way, I'm running VERY independently since I am a Liberative Republicrat). I have no budget and I plan on not spending any money on this campaign. I ask that my loyal followers, all seven(7), lead the grass roots effort

Now, I know I can't make it all the way to The White House on just this one official national food platform. So, here are some other ideas I'd bring to the table:

Let's get back to our heritage:

* Focus the federal government on one thing and one thing only - defense/national security. That is what our founding fathers had in mind

Make the tax system fair for all:

* Eliminate all income, property, investment, business and other taxes. The ONLY tax we would all pay is a consumption tax. 5% Local, 10% State, 15% Federal... 30% total. If you can't afford the tax, don't buy it

* There will be no more tax returns to file and there will be no more IRS

* Give to charities because it's the right thing to do, not because you get a tax deduction

Here's the fix for Social Security:

* Keep Social Security but fix it. Make eligibilty one age and one percentage for payback...age 67 at 100%. No more choices of 62/66/70 for 80%/100%/120%. Same age for Medicare benefits, raise it from age 65 to 67

* Raise the FICA contribution from 7.65% to 7.95% for both employee and employer

* Remove the cap on earnings. Pay into it based on what you earn and raise the payback accordingly on a sliding scale

Elected Officials:

* Elect people who will be servants of the people. Require on-going polling of their constituents to make sure the elected official is voting as their people wish. NOT as they wish

* All elected officials will serve ONE six year term with NO relection option. Enough with politicians spending most of their elected time campaigning to get reelected, instead of doing the job they were elected to do

Immigration:

* Illegal aliens have 90 days to become legal immigrants through a short but complete process. After that, they will be permanently deported

* Past that 90 day deadline, no social services will be available to them (healthcare, education, legal representation, entitlements, etc)

* Employers found employing illegal allens after 90 days will be fined one million dollars and ten years in prison per illegal employee (that should stop the problem by itself)

* All U.S. citizens will carrry proof of citizenship

* An electronic fence will be installed across the U.S. Northern and Southern borders

Unemployment:

* Incentives for all U.S. businesses and business owners

* Special incentives for manufacturing in U.S. Strong disincentives for US companies manufacturing outside U.S.

* Level import/export playing field

* Cap unemployment benefits at 39 weeks

Other:

* Create a national lottery

* Countries must repay (cash and/or trade) the U.S. for assisting in their national security. No more free policing of the world

* Legalize, regulate and tax certain vices for adults over 21. Why should gambling casinos, horse racing, and jai alai only be beneficial to certain states and/or indian tribes?

These are but a few of my initial platforms as I begin my run for President. I will continue to develop more ideas and you can be sure that while I ponder these in deep thought, I will be munching on my Chex Trail Mix. Vote early and vote often. TEM